Ever feel like you have a great date night with your partner/spouse, and then it all blows up a week later? Usually this happens because somehow you have lost contact with each other and one or both of you is feeling unloved and unimportant. Staying connected takes some work, but there a few simple things you can do everyday to keep the bond intact.
- Establish a “morning togetherness ritual”: Do you have a cup of coffee together before you head to work? Lay in bed for a few minutes and snuggle? Give each other a sweet kiss at the door? Talk on the phone on the way to work? It’s important to start your day feeling connected, and you can make that happen with a simple ritual that you can count on every day.
- Check in during the day: There’s nothing better than getting a loving message or even a fun emoji from your partner or spouse when you are having a day from hell. Even if you have the craziest, most demanding job ever, it takes about 5 seconds to let your person know that you are thinking of them. Try it- one simple message goes a long way!
- Embrace each other when you return from work. Make the hug or kiss linger for 5-10 seconds. It’s amazing how simple this is to do, but so many people immediately get distracted when they walk in the door. Are the kids tugging at you? Is your phone pinging? Remember who is most important in that moment- and go on in for that lingering embrace.
- Ask the “how are you?” question- and be there in close proximity to listen with good eye contact. Make sure there are no interruptions, the devices are put away, and there is no judgement on your part about what is being said. Everyone wants to be heard, and being right alongside your partner/spouse with curiosity and interest is a great way to stay connected.
- Establish an “evening togetherness ritual”: As parents, we often have special good night rituals with our children- reading, singing, prayers, or words of gratitude. For some reason, we don’t seem to do that with our partners/ spouses. It can be so helpful for a couple’s connection! Next time you are about to roll over and go to sleep, try sharing what you love about him/ her. Try spooning. Try giving a quick, soft massage. Try a new way of saying goodnight, like “Goodnight sweetheart- love you with every fiber of my being!”
Have fun with these tips! I look forward to hearing about the simple ways you are connecting – and staying connected!